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10. Your lead-off hitter is 8 months pregnant
9. Every time pitcher throws ball, catcher screams, "Ow!"
8. Outfielders distracted by big fluffy clouds that sometimes look like bunnies
7. Best hitter refuses to work weekends
6. Only time players demonstrate hustle is when they're being chased by undercover vice cops
5. Spirited locker room debates about how many strikes to an out
4. Starters ask to be excused from fielding drills to watch "The View"
3. Most promising rookie recently swallowed a rosin bag
2. Team name contains words "Devil" and "Rays"
1. Nobody can keep his mind on the game with that sexy Derek Jeter running around
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