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Dear Abby,
I am a crack dealer in Denver who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of the HIV virus. My parents live in the suburb of Commerce City, and one of my sisters, who lives in Lakewood, is married to a transvestite.
My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana and are currently dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Englewood.
I have two brothers. One is currently serving a non-parole life sentence in Canon City for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994. The other brother is currently in jail awaiting trial on charges of sexual misconduct.
I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who lives in Atlanta and is still a part time "working girl" in a
brothel.
All things considered, my main problem is this. I love my fiance and look forward to bringing her into the family and I certainly want to be totally honest with her.
Should I tell her about my cousin who is a Nebraska fan?
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