LOVE (CONT)

needs to train more Iraqi security forces to be blown up. For half a mil, I could write a doozy of a column promoting Rummy's phantasmagoric policies.

What is all this hand-wringing about the 31 marines who died in a helicopter crash in Iraq yesterday? It's only slightly more than the number of people who died in traffic accidents in California last Memorial Day. The president set the right tone, avoiding pathos when asked about the crash. "Obviously," he said, "any time we lose life it is a sad moment."

Who can blame Rummy for carrying out torture policies? We're in an information age. Information is power. If people are not giving you the intelligence you want, you must customize to get the intelligence you want to hear.

That's why Rummy also had to twist U.S. laws to secretly form his own CIA A Pentagon memo said Rummy's recruited agents could include "notorious figures," whose ties to the U.S. would be embarrassing if revealed, according to The Washington Post. Why shouldn't a notorious figure like Rummy recruit notorious figures?

I could write a column denouncing John McCain for trying to call hearings into Rummy's new spy unit, suggesting the senator is just jealous because Rummy's sexy enough to play James Bond.

The president might need my help as well. He looked out of it yesterday when asked why his foreign policy is so drastically different from the one laid out in Foreign Affairs magazine in 2000 by Ms. Rice - a preview that did not emphasize promoting democracy and liberty around the world. "I didn't read the article," Mr. Bush said.

And why should he? Robert McNamara never read the Pentagon Papers. Why should W. have to bone up on his own foreign policy?

Freedom means the freedom to be free from reading what you promise voters and other stuff. I could make that case, if the price were right.

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