Section
       C

HUMOR  PAGE

(Some pictures are just too good to get rid of…….)

A story came across my desk about the old country preacher who had a teen-age son, and it was getting time the boy should give some thought along the line of choosing a profession. Like many young men, then and now, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do- and he didn't seem overly concerned about it.

One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an experiment. He went into the boy's room and placed on his study table these three objects: a Bible, a silver dollar, and a bottle of Tennessee sippin' whiskey... "Now then," the old preacher said to himself, "I'll just hide behind the door here, and when my son comes home from school this afternoon, I'll see which of these three objects he picks up. If he picks up the Bible, he's going to be a preacher like me, and what a blessing that would be! If he picks up the dollar, he's going to be a businessman, and that would be o.k. too. But if he picks up the bottle, he's going to be a drunkard - a no-good drunkard and Lord, what a shame that would be."

The old man was anxious as he waited, and soon he heard his son's footsteps as he came in the house whistling and headed back to his room. He deposited his books on the bed, as a matter of routine, and as he turned around to leave the room he spotted the objects on the table. With a curious set in his eye, he walked over to inspect them. He picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm. He picked up the silver dollar and dropped it into his pocket. He uncorked the bottle and took a big drink...

"Lord have mercy," the old man whispered, "He's gonna be a politician!"

An elderly man in Florida had owned a large farm for
several years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up
nice; picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple
and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and
fixed up for swimming when it was built. One evening
the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he
hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He
grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and
laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a
bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He
made the women aware of his presence and they all
went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to
him, "We're not coming out until you leave!" The old
man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you
ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond
naked." Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed
the alligator." Moral: Old men can still think fast.

One day at the office, a man noticed that his very conservative co-worker was wearing an earring.

"I didn't know you were into that kind of stuff," he said to his friend.

"It's not a big deal," the guy said. "It's just an earring."
"How long have you been wearing it?"

"Since my wife found it in my car last week."