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Despite the fact that nothing he said about Social Security made any sense on Earth I, he also promised to keep saying it:
"See, in my line of work you got to keep repeating things over and over again for the truth to sink in, to kind of catapult the propaganda." (May 24)
In June, Bush explained that, happily, Earth II's coal supply had grown:
"Do you realize we've got 250 million years of coal?" (June 8)
In July, Bush suspended all formal rules of grammar in his fight against an increasingly unruly press. Not only was freedom on the march, so was his syntax:
"The best place for the facts to be done is by somebody who's spending time investigating it." (July 18)
During August, Bush got a peek at reality when he flew over Earth I in his flying saucer to see the hurricane damage:
"It's totally wiped out. It's devastating. It's got to be doubly devastating from the ground." (Aug. 31)
In September, he finally responded to the hurricane crisis by rolling up his sleeves for a photo op. Also, he cautioned Earth I-lings to quit hoarding gasoline:
"Don't buy gas if you don't need it." (Sept. 1)
Also in September, we learned that the five senses are different on Earth II:
"We look forward to hearing your vision, so we can more better do our job." (Sept. 20)
With the October nomination of Harriet Miers, Bush illustrated that, on Earth II, inexperience is the very BEST qualification for a Supreme Court judge:
"It's important to bring somebody from outside the judicial system, somebody that hasn't been on the bench and, therefore, there's not a lot of opinions for people to look at." (Oct. 4)
In November, Bush visited the southern hemisphere on Earth I and learned a little geography about our planet:
"Wow! Brazil is big." (Nov. 6)
Finally, in December, Bush admitted that maybe the war in Iraq didn't need to happen. Except, on Earth II, it did need to happen:
"Whether or not it needed to happen, I'm still convinced it needed to happen." (Dec. 13)
And so, Bush parties on in his Earth II White House, blissfully unaware that the jig is up on Earth I, where New Orleans is still in sorry shape; where the war in Iraq grinds on to no purpose; where the rich get richer; where the uninsured get sicker; where the former presidential nickname Bubba has been supplanted by Bubble Boy.
It's been a heck of a year, Bubble Boy. And always believe your Imagineers when they tell you:
Fairy tales can come true,
It can happen to you,
If you're on Earth II.
Only 1,127 days till Inauguration 2009!
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